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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Arrogance cannot be allowed to grow excessive, desires cannot be followed, ambitions cannot be satisfied, and happiness cannot be taken to the extreme.
As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
A bundle of money: a bundle of five liang, two and five qian. When a woman meets her uncle and aunt, brothers, aunts and sisters, she should all stand in the hall, facing west and facing north, which means she has met them. When she meets her fathers, each goes to his own bed. Although a woman is not married, she will wear a hairpin at the age of twenty, and the ceremony will be performed. The woman will follow the ceremony. When she is married, she will curl her head.
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
Establishing power and measurement, examining articles, changing the calendar, changing the color of clothes, distinguishing emblems, different tools, and different clothes, these are what he obtains and changes with the people. There are some things that cannot be changed: loving one's relatives, respecting the elders, and distinguishing between men and women. These are things that cannot be changed with the people.
When Ruan Xuanzi had a good reputation, the Grand Commandant Wang Yifu saw him and asked, "Are the teachings of Laozi and Zhuangzi similar or different from those of the sages?" Ruan Xuanzi replied, "There may be no similarities." The Grand Commandant was pleased with his words and appointed him as an official. People in the world call him "three-language official". Wei Jie mocked him and said, “One word can refute it, why bother with three?” Xuan Zi said, “If he is respected by the world, I can refute him without saying a word, why bother with one word?” So they became friends.
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