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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Ruan Ji was about to bury his mother, he steamed a fat pig, drank two buckets of wine, and then when he said goodbye, he bluntly said, "I am poor!" They all had to take number one, and because of vomiting blood, they were disabled for a long time.
After Huan Xuan returned from Yixing, he met Sima Taifu, who was already drunk and sat with many guests. He asked people, "Huan Wen wants to be a thief, what should we do?" Huan Xuan fell down and could not get up. Xie Jingzhong was the Chief Secretary at the time. He raised the plaque and replied, "The former Duke Xuanwu dismissed the ignorant and promoted the wise, and his achievements surpassed those of Yi and Huo. He judged the various opinions with the help of his wise judge." The Grand Tutor said, "I know! I know!" He then raised the cup and said, "Huan Yixing, let me offer you a drink." Huan came out to thank him.
When Duke Yu was the Protector General, he asked Huan Tingwei to find a good official, and the search lasted for years. Queen Huan met Xu Ning and learned about it, so she told Yu Gong: "What others should have, you don't have to have; what others should not have, you don't have to not have. He is truly a pure man in the sea and mountains."
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