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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
When Xie Gong heard that Yang Sui was good, he sent his regards and asked him to come, but he refused to go. Later, Sui became a doctor of the Imperial College. He met Xie Gong on business, and Xie Gong immediately appointed him as the chief clerk.
Yuan Yandao had two sisters: one married Yin Yuanyuan, and the other married Xie Renzu. I said to Huan Xuanwu: "I wish there was someone else who could match you."
The King of Liang and the King of Zhao were close relatives of the country and were highly respected at the time. Duke Pei Ling asked the two countries to pay millions of yuan in rent every year to help the poor among his relatives. Someone ridiculed him and said, "Why do you beg for things to do good?" Pei said, "To take away from the surplus and give to the deficiency is the way of heaven."
Huan Xuanwu was born into a poor family. He lost a lot in a game of chess. His creditors demanded a lot of money from him. He wanted to find a way to get back on his feet, but he didn't know where to start. Yuan Dan of Chen County was handsome and versatile. Xuanwu wanted to ask for help from Dan, but Dan was in a difficult situation at the time and he was afraid that he would be suspected, so he tried to tell him. He agreed immediately without any regret. So he changed his clothes, put on a cloth hat and followed Wen, playing with his creditor. Tan had always been famous for his fine art, so the creditor came to the chessboard and said, "Why don't you do something like Yuan Yandao?" Then they started to play together. A throw of one hundred thousand can easily add up to millions. He threw his horse aside and shouted, as if no one was around. He raised his cloth cap and threw it to the man and said, "Do you know Yuan Yandao?"
Zengzi went to Fuxia to pay tribute to his ancestors. After the host filled the pond, he pushed the coffin back and brought it back. He brought down the women and then performed the rituals. The attendant asked, "Is it the etiquette?" Zengzi said, "The ancestor is Qie; Qie, why can't he stay overnight?" The attendant asked Ziyou again, "Is it the etiquette?" Ziyou said, "Eat under the window, bury the dead in a small way inside the door, bury the dead in a big way on the east side, and hold the funeral in the guest seat. The funeral is held in the courtyard and buried in the tomb. This is how it is far away. Therefore, funerals have progress but no retreat." Zengzi heard this and said, "It's too much. I'm the one who left the ancestor." Zengzi wore a fur coat to pay his respects, and Ziyou wore a fur coat to pay his respects. Zengzi pointed at Ziyou and showed him, "Fuck, you are a man who is accustomed to etiquette, how can you wear a fur coat to pay your respects?" The host had folded his hair in a small way, bared his clothes, and tied his hair; Ziyou hurried out and came back wearing a fur coat and a sash. Zengzi said, "I went too far, I went too far, this is it."
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
There are three reasons for not mourning a death: fear, disgust, and drowning.
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