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When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Liu Yin said to Xie Renzu, "Since I had four friends, my disciples have become closer." He said to Xu Xuandu, "Since I have my reasons, no bad words will reach my ears." Both of them accepted it without resentment.
Tanqi originated in the Wei Palace, where people used dressing boxes as a game. Emperor Wen was very good at this play. He used the corner of his hand towel to flick it and every time he did it he hit the target. There was a guest who claimed that he was capable, so the emperor asked him to do it. The guest picked up the chopsticks and held the corner of a hemp scarf, and lowered his head to play the chess pieces, his skill was even greater than that of the emperor.
Jianwen sat in a dark room and summoned Xuanwu. When Xuanwu arrived, he asked where the emperor was. The letter said: "I am here." People at that time thought he was capable.
When Emperor Wu of Wei went to fight Yuan Benchu, he was preparing equipment and found dozens of bushels of bamboo strips left over, all several inches long. Everyone said they were unusable, so he ordered them to be burned. Taizu thought about how to use it and said it could be used as a bamboo shield, but he did not make his words public. He sent an envoy to ask the chief clerk Yang Dezuo. He answered immediately, sharing the same thought as the emperor. Everyone was amazed by his eloquence.
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