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When Ji Sun's mother died, Duke Ai went to offer condolences. Zengzi and Zigong went to offer condolences. The gatekeeper did not let them in because the king was present. Zengzi and Zigong went into the stable and dressed up. Zigong went in first, and the gatekeeper said, "The governor has already told us." Zengzi went in later, and the gatekeeper let him in. When they went inside, the nobles and officials all left their seats, and the Duke lowered his rank and bowed to them. The gentleman said, "If you use all your skills, you will go far." When Jiefu of Yangmen died, the city manager Zihan went in and cried. The Jin people who spied on Song reported back to the Duke of Jin, saying, "Jiefu of Yangmen died, and Zihan wept bitterly, and the people were pleased. It is unlikely that he should be attacked." Confucius heard about it and said, "How good is the spying on the country! The Book of Songs says, 'When the people are in mourning, they should be supported and clothed.' Although it is only a small country like Jin, who in the world can do it?"
Lord Lin said to Wang Youjun: "The Chief Secretary has written hundreds of words, all of which are virtuous, but he seems to be sad that they are not bitter." Wang said: "The Chief Secretary himself does not want to make things bitter."
When serving a gentleman, the gentleman yawned and stretched himself, picked up his walking stick and shoes, and saw that the sun was setting. The attendant then asked to leave. When sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if the gentleman asks about the affairs of the day, the gentleman should stand up and answer. When one is sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if someone comes and says, "A moment," hoping to hear back, one should stand aside and wait. Do not listen sideways, do not respond loudly, do not look lustfully, and do not be lazy. When walking, do not be arrogant; when standing, do not limp; when sitting, do not spread your legs; when sleeping, do not lie prone. Keep your hair down and don't take off your hat. Don't expose your clothes when you are tired. Don't lift your skirt in the heat.
Ruan Xuanzi discussed the existence of ghosts and gods. Some believed that ghosts existed when people died, but Xuanzi alone believed that ghosts did not exist. He said, "Nowadays, those who see ghosts say that they cut off the clothes they wore when they were alive. If ghosts exist when people die, do clothes also have ghosts?"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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