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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Emperor Wu of Jin always gave tribute to Shan Tao and Shan Shao. Xie Taifu asked his sons and daughters about this, and the cavalry replied, "It should be because those who want it are not many, and those who give it will forget about it."
Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
The wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han once committed a crime outside. The emperor wanted to enforce the law, and the wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help. Shuo said, "This is not a matter of argument. If you really want to be saved, you should look back at the emperor many times before leaving and be careful not to say anything! This may be a one in a million hope." When the wet nurse arrived, Shuo was also serving by her side, so he said to her, "You are foolish! Does the emperor still remember the kindness he showed when you were feeding him?" Although the emperor was talented and strong-willed, he also had deep feelings for her, so he felt sad for her and immediately ordered her to be pardoned.
Xie Jingzhong's daughter married Wang Xiaobo'er, and the two men loved each other very much. Xie was appointed as Chief Clerk of the Grand Tutor, but was dismissed. The king then appointed him as Chief Clerk and gave him charge of Jinling County. The Grand Tutor had already framed Xiaobo and did not want him to have a chance to apologize, so he sent him back to be his advisor. Outwardly it appears to be in a state of tension, but in reality it is in a state of disarray. After Xiao Bo was defeated, the Grand Tutor went around the East Palace City and dispersed. His subordinates all stood at the South Gate to wait for him and pay him respects. At that time, he said to Xie: "Wang Ning has a conspiracy, and it is said that you are his plan." Xie Zeng showed no fear, and replied with his hu tablets: "Le Yanfu once said: 'Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?'" The Grand Tutor liked his answer, so he raised his glass to persuade him, saying: "So you are better! So you are better!"
When General Wang first wanted to go to the capital to make the arrangements, he sent a military officer to report to the court and to recommend the wise men of the time. Before Zu's cavalry arrived in Shouchun, he glared at his messenger and said in a stern voice, "You tell Ahei: How dare you be disrespectful! Hurry up and leave. If you don't do so in a moment, I will lead three thousand soldiers to advance with spears and feet!" The king stopped when he heard this.
Wang Xun and Xi Chao were both talented and were favored by the Grand Marshal. Xun was the chief clerk, and Chao was the secretary and assistant military officer. Chao is a person with a lot of beard, which is short and shaped like a jade pendant. At that time, Jingzhou said: "Bearded military officers and short chief clerks can make you happy or angry."
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