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An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, an official recorded a criminal coming at night. The king asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I just returned from receiving books from my teacher. I didn't realize it was getting late." The king said, "I'm trying to whip Ning Yue to establish my reputation, but I'm afraid this is not the right way to govern." He ordered an official to send him home.
Dragon fell, Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him, "It hasn't rained for a long time. I want to punish the young, but what should I do?" He said, "It hasn't rained for a long time, and I want to punish the young, and I'm cruel. Isn't it unacceptable!" "Then I want to punish the witch, but what should I do?" He said, "It hasn't rained, and I look for it with a foolish woman. Isn't it too distant?" "What should I do if I move the market?" He said, "When the emperor dies, the market will be open for seven days; when the princes die, the market will be open for three days. Isn't it okay to move the market for them?" Confucius said, "The people of Wei separate their bodies when they are buried; the people of Lu unite their bodies when they are buried. Good man!"
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
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