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It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
Chen Zhuangzi died and went to Lu. The people of Lu did not want to cry. Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him about it. Xianzi said, "In ancient times, the officials did not finish their work. Even if they wanted to cry, how could they cry? Today's officials are involved in the government of China. Even if they want not to cry, how can they not cry? Moreover, I have heard that there are two ways to cry: one is to cry for love, and the other is to cry for fear." The Duke said, "Yes, then what should we do?" Xianzi said, "Please cry in the temples of different surnames." So he cried with the Xianshi. Zhongxian said to Zengzi: "The Xia Dynasty used Mingqi to show that the people were ignorant; the Yin people used sacrificial utensils to show that the people were knowledgeable; the Zhou people used both to show that the people were suspicious." Zengzi said: "Is it not so! Is it not so! Mingqi is a ghost instrument; sacrificial utensils are human instruments; why did the ancient people die for their own parents?" Gongshu Mu's half-brother died, and he asked Ziyou. Ziyou said: "Is it a great merit?" Di Yi's half-brother died, and he asked Zixia. Zixia said: "I have never heard of it before; the people of Lu wear Qisui for him." Di Yi wore Qisui. The Qisui of today is what Di Yi asked.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
Li Hongdu often sighed that he was not appreciated. Yin Yangzhou knew that his family was poor and asked, "Can you bend your will and travel a hundred miles?" Li replied, "The sigh of the North Gate has long been heard by my friends. A poor ape rushes to the forest, how can it have time to choose a tree!" He was then granted Shan County.
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