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Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Wang Sengmi, Xie Cheqi and Wang Xiaonu Xu gathered together. Sengmi raised his wine to Xie and said, "I'll give you a cup." Xie said, "Yes." Sengmi got angry and said, "You are the one who fishes for stones in the Wuxing River! How dare you insult me!" Xie clapped his hands and laughed, saying, "Wei army, Sengmi is so undisciplined that you are invading our country."
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Zhou Shuzhi was appointed as the prefect of Jinling, and Zhou Hou and Zhong Zhi went to say goodbye to him. As Shuzhi was about to leave, he couldn't stop crying. Zhong Zhi was angry and said, "She is a woman, and she is crying when she says goodbye to you!" Then he left. The Duke of Zhou stayed alone, drank with him and talked with him. Before leaving, he wept and stroked his back, saying, "Take good care of yourself."
Emperor Cheng of Han favored Zhao Feiyan, who slandered Ban Jieyu and cursed her, so he interrogated her. She said, "I have heard that life and death are determined by fate, and wealth and honor are determined by heaven. If I cannot be blessed by doing good deeds, what is the hope of doing evil deeds? If the ghosts and gods are knowledgeable, they will not accept the complaints of evildoers; if they are ignorant, what is the point of complaining? So I will not do it."
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
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