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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Later, when I was young, there were many people who were very knowledgeable. Lord Shen said, "Huang Wen is young, so don't comment on the old scholars. In the past, he had dealings with the two emperors Yuan and Ming, and the two lords Wang and Yu."
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Fan Yuzhang said to Wang Jingzhou: "You are a man of great talent and vision, a real talent of the future." Wang said: "Without such an uncle, how could I have such a nephew?"
Zhi Daolin, Xu, and Xie Shengde gathered at Wang's house. Xie Gu said to everyone: "Today can be called a gathering of Yan. Time cannot be kept, and this gathering is certainly not going to last long. We should talk and chant together to express our feelings." Xu then asked the host if he had Zhuangzi. Just got an article about fisherman. After thanking him for reading the question, he asked the four people to communicate. Zhi Daoling was the first to compose a poem of about 700 words, which was elegant and brilliant in narration, and outstanding in talent and rhetoric, and was praised by everyone. Then the four people sitting there each expressed their thoughts. Xie asked, "Have you all finished speaking?" They all said, "We have exhausted all our words today." Xie felt that it was difficult to speak, so he explained his thoughts himself in more than ten thousand words, with his talent and elegance. It is difficult for him to do it, but he also tries to be ambitious and contented, and everyone around him is annoyed by it. Zhi said to Xie: "You went there once, so you are doing well again."
If it is abolished, there will be chaos. Therefore, if the ritual of marriage is abolished, the relationship between husband and wife will be difficult, and there will be many crimes of adultery and perversion. If the ritual of drinking in the village is abolished, the order of seniority will be lost, and there will be many cases of fighting. If the ritual of funeral and sacrifice is abolished, the grace of ministers will be weak, and there will be many people who forget their lives. If the ritual of marriage is abolished, the position of the monarch and the minister will be lost, the princes will do evil, and the failure of rebellion and aggression will arise.
When Ji Wuzi finished his bed, he found that Du Shi’s burial was under the west steps, and he asked for joint burial there, and he agreed. He entered the palace but did not dare to cry. Wuzi said, “Joint burial is not an ancient practice. It has not been changed since the time of Duke Zhou. I allow the big but not the small, why?” He ordered him to cry.
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