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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
In the case of a funeral, if money and gold are presented to the king, it is said: "Pay the tribute to the officials". The horses are brought into the temple gate; the horses and coins are brought into the temple gate, and the white chariots are not brought into the temple gate. After the person who brings the tribute has given the order, he sits down and leaves it to the king, and the person who sends the tribute lifts it up.
There was a man named Zhou Feng in Lu. Duke Ai held a seal and asked to see him, but he said no. The Duke said, "I'll stop!" He sent someone to ask him, "The Yu clan did not show trust to the people, but the people trusted them; the Xia clan did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. How did they get this from the people?" He replied, "In the ruins and tombs, they did not show grief to the people, but the people mourned; in the altars and ancestral temples, they did not show respect to the people, but the people respected them. The Yin people made an oath, but the people began to rebel; the Zhou people made a meeting, but the people began to doubt. If there is no courtesy, righteousness, loyalty, sincerity and honesty to govern them, even if they are firmly united, will the people not break away?"
Sikong Xi was appointed as the Northern Palace, and Huangmen Wang went to Xi's gate to pay his respects, saying: "Coping with emergencies and military strategies are not his strong points." He then recited it endlessly. Xi Cang said to Jiabin: "When you came to pay your respects today, Ziyou's words were very rude and intolerable!" Jiabin said: "This is Chen Shou's comment on Zhuge Liang. People compare your family to Wu Hou, what else do you say?"
From benevolence to relatives, the order is up to the ancestors; from righteousness to ancestors, the order is down to the ancestors. Therefore, the way of human beings is to be close to relatives. Respecting the ancestors means respecting the clan, respecting the clan means gathering the clan, gathering the clan means the ancestral temple is strict, the ancestral temple is strict, the land is valued, the land is valued, the people are loved, loving the people means the punishment is moderate, the punishment is moderate, the people are at peace, the people are at peace, the money is sufficient, the money is sufficient, all the aspirations are fulfilled, all the aspirations are fulfilled, the rituals and customs are followed, and the rituals and customs are followed, and then there is joy. The Book of Songs says: "If you do not show yourself, you will not be disgraced by others." This is what it means.
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