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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Jian Wen said to the guest: "Liu Yin's words at the end are slightly different. It is not wrong to reply to his words."
At the funeral of Sikou Huizi, Ziyou prepared hemp mourning clothes and hemp sash for him. Wen Zi declined, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "It is the rite." Wen Zi retreated and cried again. Ziyou hurried to the seats of the ministers. Wen Zi declined again, saying, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you decline?" Ziyou said, "I insist on asking." Wen Zi retreated, helped Shi Zi to stand facing south, and said, "You are insulted to be with Mi Mou's brother You, and you are insulted to wear clothes for him, and you are insulted to attend his funeral. How dare you not return to your position?" Ziyou hurried to the guest seat. At the funeral of General Wenzi, after the mourning period was over, the people of Yue came to offer their condolences. The host wore a deep robe and a white cap, waited in the temple, weeping. Ziyou looked at him and said, "General Wen's son is almost a commoner! He is a man of honor who died according to the etiquette, and his actions are in the right place."
The enemy of the father will not live under the same sky with him. The enemy of the brother will not fight back. Friends are from different countries. There are many fortifications in the suburbs, which is a disgrace to the nobles. The land is vast, but it is uncultivated, which is also a disgrace to the scholars.
Zhou Boren was the Minister of Personnel. He fell seriously ill at night in the province. At that time, Diao Xuanliang was the Minister of the Chancellery, and he rescued Bei and was very close to him. After a long time, there was a small loss. The next morning, Zhongzhi was informed and he came in a panic. As soon as he entered the house, Diao got out of bed and burst into tears, telling him about Boren's critical condition yesterday. Zhongzhi wrote on it by hand, and Diao made a copy of it and placed it beside the door. When he came forward, he did not even ask about the illness, but simply said, "You were a famous person in the Central Court, and you were as famous as He Changyu. How could you have any relationship with such a flatterer as Diao Xie?" Then he left.
After Emperor Yuan ascended the throne, because of the favor of Queen Zheng, he wanted to abandon Emperor Ming and enthrone Emperor Jianwen. Those who discussed the issue at that time all said, "It is not only against reason and ethics to abandon the elder and establish the younger one as the crown prince, but also because Emperor Ming is intelligent and decisive, he should be the crown prince." The officials of Zhou and Wang all argued earnestly. Only Diao Xuanliang wanted to obey the young master and follow the emperor's orders. Emperor Yuan was about to implement it, but was worried that the officials would not obey his orders. So he first summoned Marquis Zhou and the Prime Minister, and then wanted to issue an edict to Diao. When Zhou and Wang had just entered and reached the top of the steps, the emperor sent someone to convey the imperial edict and stopped the envoys from going to the east wing. The Marquis of Zhou did not realize what was happening, and immediately went down the stairs. The prime minister opened the imperial edict and went straight to the emperor's bed and said, "I don't know why Your Majesty sees me." The emperor remained silent, took out the yellow paper edict from his arms, tore it up and threw it at him. From then on, the crown prince was decided. Zhou Houfang sighed with shame and said, "I always said I was better than Maohong, but now I know I am not as good as him!"
A gentleman practices etiquette and does not seek to change customs. The rituals of sacrifice, mourning clothes, and crying positions are all the same as those of his country. He should carefully revise the laws and implement them carefully. After leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are listed in the court, and there is an imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. If brothers and clansmen are still alive, they should report to the clan queen; after leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are not listed in the court, and there is no imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. Only on the day of the new country, the law of the new country should be followed. A gentleman does not change his name after he is orphaned. If he becomes noble after being orphaned, he does not give his father a posthumous title. In mourning, before the burial, read the funeral ceremony; after the burial, read the sacrificial ceremony; after the mourning, read the music.
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