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When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
When Su Jun was in chaos, all the Yu clans fled. When Yu Bing was the governor of Wu County, he fled alone, and all the people and officials left. Only the county soldier carried the ice out of Qiantangkou in a small boat, and Qu Shen overturned it. At that time, Jun offered a reward to recruit people to find ice, and the search was very urgent everywhere. The soldier left the boat and went to the market. He came back drunk and rowed towards the boat, saying, "Where can I find Yu Wujun? He is here." Bing was greatly frightened, but did not dare to move. The inspector saw that the boat was small and cramped, and thought that the soldiers were crazy and drunk, so he no longer suspected anything. He was sent to Zhejiang and sent to Wei's family in Shanyin, where he was saved. After the matter was settled, Bing wanted to avenge his soldiers, which was exactly what he wished. The soldier said, "I come from a servant family and don't want luxury. I suffered from whipping when I was young, and I'm always worried about not being able to drink happily. If I can drink enough for the rest of the year, I won't need any more." Bing built a big house for him, bought slaves, and kept a hundred hu of wine at the door for the rest of his life. At that time, it was said that this soldier was not only wise, but also understood life.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
The minister is the upper host, the minister is the successor host, and the scholar is the successor host. The king and his personal etiquette for guests, the guests meet privately, meet privately, offer food and drink, return the jade and jade, give bribes, and feast, so as to show the righteousness between the guests and the king and the ministers.
Xu Yuan once visited Jianwen. It was a windy and calm night with a bright moon, so they composed music and talked in the room. Expressing one’s inner thoughts is Xu’s forte. The words are clear and graceful, more than usual. Although Jianwen and he had always been in sync, this encounter was even more regrettable. Unconsciously they knelt down and spoke with their hands, and the conversation lasted until almost dawn. Then he said: "Xuan Du has great talent and sentiment, so it is not easy to give him many compliments."
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