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It is the festival of a boy. The black cloth clothes are brocade-edged, the brocade belt, and the button brocade, and the hair is all red brocade. Boys do not wear fur or silk, shoes or silk, and do not wear mourning clothes. Listening to affairs does not require hemp. If there is no business, he will stand to the north of the host and see the teacher enter with others. Those who serve food to the teacher with different titles will offer sacrifices later and eat first. When the guest offers sacrifices, the host declines and says, "It is not enough to offer sacrifices." When the guest eats, the host declines with a sparse. If the host prepares his own sauce, the guest will clean it himself. In a room, one person who is not a guest should clean up. In a meal, one person should clean up. In banquets, women should not clean up. When eating dates, peaches, and plums, do not take the core. When offering melons, throw away the rings in the middle of the food. Those who eat fruits should eat after the gentlemen, and those who light the fire should eat before the gentlemen. In celebrations, do not congratulate unless the king gives gifts. Confucius ate at Ji's house, and did not refuse. He did not eat meat and ate.

For the funeral of a king: for three days, sons and wives use sticks, and after the funeral on the fifth day, the grand officials and their wives are given sticks. Sons and grand officials use sticks outside the bedroom door, and they are gathered inside the bedroom door; the wives and their wives are next and use sticks, and when he ascends the throne, he has someone hold them. Sons take off their sticks when they have the king's order, and gather their sticks when they have the king's order, and take off their sticks when they listen to divination and have something to do with the corpse. Grand officials gather their sticks when they are at the king's place, and they use sticks when they are at the grand officials' place. For the funeral of a grand official: after the funeral on the third day, the master, the master's wife, and the old man in the house all use sticks. Grand officials take off their sticks when they have the king's order, and gather their sticks when they have the order of the grand officials; the wife takes off her stick when she has the order of her wife, and she is given a stick when she has the order of her wife. For the funeral of a scholar: for two days, the funeral is held, and for three days, the master takes off his stick, and the wives all use sticks. For the king's order and the wife's order, the order is the same as for the grand officials, and for the grand officials and their wives' order, the order is the same as for the grand officials. Sons all use sticks, and they don't ascend the throne. When a senior official or scholar mourns a funeral, he uses a staff; when mourning over a coffin, he uses a staff. If he discards a staff, he breaks it and throws it to the hermit.

It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.

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更新时间：2025-03-23