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Sun Xinggong wrote a eulogy for Yu Gong, which contained many words of concern. When it was completed, he showed it to Yu Daoen. When Yu saw it, he sent it back with emotion, saying, "My ancestors and you would never have come to this."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The remaining fish are not sacrificed. A father does not sacrifice to his son, and a husband does not sacrifice to his wife. The emperor treats the elders with respect, and he will not refuse even if he is asked to sit with them occasionally. If the soup contains vegetables, use a spoon; if it does not contain vegetables, do not use a spoon.
Taiwei Wang did not associate with Yu Zisong, and Yu Qing did not tolerate him. The king said, "You cannot do what you want." Yu said, "You are my master, and I am your master. I will use my own rules, and you will use your own rules."
Chen Zhongju's words were a model for scholars, his behavior was a role model for the world, he got on the carriage and took the reins, with the ambition to clear up the world. When he arrived as the prefect of Yuzhang, he asked where Xu Ruzi was, wanting to see him first. The chief clerk said, "Everyone wants you to enter the palace first." Chen said, "King Wu of Zhou was in Shang Rong's house, and he didn't even have time to warm up his seat. Why shouldn't I show respect to the virtuous?"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
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