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When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
Lord Lin said to Wang Youjun: "The Chief Secretary has written hundreds of words, all of which are virtuous, but he seems to be sad that they are not bitter." Wang said: "The Chief Secretary himself does not want to make things bitter."
The way of the university is to manifest the bright virtue, to be close to the people, and to stop at the highest good. Knowing the stop will lead to determination, determination will lead to tranquility, tranquility will lead to peace, peace will lead to consideration, and consideration will lead to success. Things have their roots and ends, and things have their beginnings and ends. Knowing what comes first and what comes later will lead to the way.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
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