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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Zhang Xuan and Wang Jianwu did not know each other at first, but later they met at Fan Yuzhang's request, and Fan asked them to talk. Zhang Yin was sitting upright with his clothes folded in front of him. Wang Shu looked at him for a long time but could not make any comment. Zhang was greatly disappointed and left. Fan tried to persuade him to stay, but he refused to stay. Fan was Wang's uncle, so he said to Wang: "Zhang Xuan is the most outstanding scholar in Wu. He was also well-known at the time. But he was brought to this point. It is beyond comprehension." Wang laughed and said: "If Zhang Zuxi wants to make his acquaintance, he should come to see him." Fan rushed to inform Zhang, who then packed his belt and went to see him. Then they raised their cups and talked to each other, neither the host nor the guest looked ashamed.
The Duke said, 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 gentlemen today practice this?鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淕entlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.鈥
Ziyun: "The etiquette of the guest always advances to show respect, and the funeral etiquette always adds distance." Bathing in the middle stream, eating under the window, small burial inside the door, large burial on the east side, funeral in the guest seat, ancestral worship in the courtyard, burial in the tomb, so as to show distance. The Yin people mourned at the grave, and the Zhou people mourned at home, showing that the people were not rebellious. Ziyun: "Death is the final service of the people, I follow Zhou." Because of this, there are still princes who died without burial. Ziyun: "Ascending from the guest steps, receiving condolences at the guest seat, teaching the people to pursue filial piety." Not calling the king before the death shows that the people are not quarrelsome. Therefore, the "Spring and Autumn Annals" of Lu recorded the funeral of Jin and said: "Kill the son of the king Xiqi and his king Zhuo." Because of this, there are still sons who kill their fathers.
If it is abolished, there will be chaos. Therefore, if the ritual of marriage is abolished, the relationship between husband and wife will be difficult, and there will be many crimes of adultery and perversion. If the ritual of drinking in the village is abolished, the order of seniority will be lost, and there will be many cases of fighting. If the ritual of funeral and sacrifice is abolished, the grace of ministers will be weak, and there will be many people who forget their lives. If the ritual of marriage is abolished, the position of the monarch and the minister will be lost, the princes will do evil, and the failure of rebellion and aggression will arise.
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