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Wang Anfeng’s wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.
Wang Yifu's wife, the daughter of Guo Taining, was of humble talent but strong-willed. She was insatiable in accumulating wealth and was always meddling in other people's affairs. Yi Fu was worried about it but couldn't stop it. At that time, his fellow villager Li Yang, the governor of Youzhou, was a great hero in the capital, just like Lou Hu of the Han Dynasty, and the Guo family was afraid of him. Yi Fu suddenly advised him against it, and he said, "It's not just me who says you can't do it, Li Yang also says you can't do it." Guo was slightly hurt by this.
King Sima Jing went on an expedition to the east and captured Li Xi of Shangdang and made him a Zhonglang Attendant. He then asked Xi, "My father invited you to come, but you refused. Now I am calling you. Why did you come?" Xi replied, "My father treated me with courtesy, so I was able to advance and retreat with courtesy. You are a man of law, and I came here out of fear of the law!"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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