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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Tao Gong had great ambitions since he was young. His family was extremely poor, so he lived with his mother, Zhan. Fan Kui, a fellow countyman who was well-known, was selected as a filial and honest official and stayed at Kan's place. At that time, ice and snow accumulated day by day, and Kan's room was as dark as a hanging chime, while Kui had many horses and servants. Kan's mother, Mrs. Zhan, said to Kan, "You just go out and entertain the guests, and I will take care of the affairs myself." Zhan's hair fell to the ground, and the lower part was broken into two buns. She sold several bushels of rice, chopped down the pillars of the house, cut half of them into firewood, and ground the remaining hair into horse grass. Every day and evening, he provided fine food, so that his followers had nothing to lack. Kui was amazed at his eloquence and felt deeply ashamed of his kindness. The next morning he left, and Kan followed him closely, and they walked for about a hundred miles. Kui said, "The road is long, you should go back." Kan still did not return, so Kui said, "You can go now! We will talk about your good deeds in Luoyang." Kan then returned. Kui and Luo then praised them to Yang Zhi, Gu Rong and others, and they won great praise.
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