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During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
Emperor Ming asked Marquis Zhou, "Some people compare you to Xi Jian. What do you think?" Zhou said, "Your Majesty, there is no need to compare you to Xi Jian."
Wang Xun and Xi Chao were both talented and were favored by the Grand Marshal. Xun was the chief clerk, and Chao was the secretary and assistant military officer. Chao is a person with a lot of beard, which is short and shaped like a jade pendant. At that time, Jingzhou said: "Bearded military officers and short chief clerks can make you happy or angry."
Sun Xinggong and Xu Xuandu were both famous figures of the time. Some people respect Xu's noble sentiments and despise his grandson's evil conduct; some people love his grandson's talent and eloquence and have no interest in Xu.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
Xu Wensi went to meet Gu and Xu, but Gu was already sleeping in the tent. When Xu arrived, they went straight to the corner of the bed and talked together. Afterwards, he called Gu to go with him. Gu ordered his attendants to take the new clothes on the pillow and change them into the ones he was wearing. Xu smiled and said, "Do you have the clothes you brought with you?"
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