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When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
Ruan Hun grew up with a style and temperament similar to his father, and he also wanted to be successful. The infantry said, "Zhongrong has already taken action, so you can't do it again."
An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
When a person dies, the body is moved to the bed, the quilt is used to cover the body, and the death clothes are removed. The junior officials use a horn scoop to wed the teeth and a swallow table to sew the feet. The king, the senior official, and the scholar are the same.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
People say that "Yu Wenkang is jade in a good year, and Zhigong is grain in a famine year." Yu Jia Lun says that Wen Kang called "Gong is the grain in a famine year, and Yu Changren is the jade in a good year."
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