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Prince Jing and Yang Sui were good friends. Sui was a noble and honest man. He was a secretary of the Central Secretariat but died young. The king mourned deeply and said to Dongting: "It is a pity for the country!"
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
When Jia Chong first formulated laws and decrees, he and Yang Hu consulted with Grand Tutor Zheng Chong. Chong said, "Gao Yao's strict and righteous intention is beyond the reach of my cowardice." Yang said, "The emperor wants us to have a little more progress." Chong then gave his consent.
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
Xie Gong served as Sima of Xuanwu, and had dozens of disciples under the command of Zhao Yuezi, Zhonglang of Tian Cao. Yuezi reported this to Emperor Xuanwu, who said, "Use only half of them." Zhao immediately employed all of them, saying, "When Anshi was in Dongshan, the gentry urged him to do things, so he might not be involved in personnel matters. Moreover, now that he is being selected from the local area, won't he go against their will?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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