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Zeng Zi asked: "When the king leaves the border, he should be guarded for three years and follow the coffin. When the king dies, what should he do when he enters the palace?" Confucius said: "In the common funeral, the son wears hemp, a hat and a sash, a thin mourning, a thin coat, and a stick. Enter from the gate and ascend from the west steps. If it is a small burial, the son takes off his clothes and follows the coffin, enters from the door and ascends from the east steps. The king, the officials and the scholars are the same." Zeng Zi asked: "After the king's funeral is held, what should he do when he hears about the death of his parents?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the seal is sealed and he returns, he will not wait for you." Zeng Zi asked: "After the parents' funeral is held, when he arrives on the road and hears about the death of the king, what should he do?" Confucius said: "Just do it. After the enfeoffment, he changed his clothes and went.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
Zeng Zi asked: "When the crowned son arrives, he bows and yields to others and enters. Hearing about the mourning of a great meritorious service, what should be done?" Confucius said: "In the internal mourning, it is abandoned; in the external mourning, the crown is not drunk, the food is cleaned and swept, and the throne is wept. If the crown has not arrived, then it will be abandoned. If the crown is about to be worn but the date has not come, and there is a mourning of Qisui, Dagong, or Xiaogong, then the crown should be worn according to the mourning clothes. "Does the crown not change after the mourning?" Confucius said: "The emperor gives the princes and ministers the crown and hat clothes to the Grand Temple. When they return to set up a sacrifice, they wear the clothes given. There is a crown ceremony, but no crown wine. When the father dies and the crown is worn, the crown is worn and the ground is swept before offering sacrifices to the gods; after offering sacrifices, the uncles and uncles are seen, and then the crown is offered. "
The ruler rolls up his crown and stands on the east side, while his wife stands in the room with a double-breasted robe. The ruler bares his body to welcome the sacrificial animal at the door; his wife offers a bean basket. The ministers and the great officials praise the king, and the women of the court praise the wives: each of them promotes his duties. When all officials are dismissed from their duties and serve severe punishments, the whole country will be greatly subdued. Therefore, the summer sacrifice, autumn tasting, winter sacrifice, spring festival, autumn review and the big wax are the emperor's sacrifices.
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