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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Kong Cheqi had always had the intention of escaping from the world since he was young. It was not until he was over 40 years old that he responded to Andong's order. Before he took up an official post, he often slept alone, sang and played music to teach himself, called himself Kong Lang, and traveled around famous mountains. The people said that he had Taoist magic and built a temple for him. There is still a Confucius Temple today.
Yu Zisong's poem He Qiao said: "They are as dense as thousand-foot-high pines. Although they are piled up, they have branches. If they are placed in a building, they can serve as pillars."
When Wang Pingzi was sent out to be the governor of Jingzhou, Taiwei Wang and other wise men came to see him off promptly. At that time, there was a big tree in the courtyard, and there was a magpie's nest on it. Pingzi took off his clothes and towel, and went up the tree to pick the magpie. The cool clothes were caught on the branches and then taken off. When the magpie returned, he played with it, looking calm and composed, as if no one was around. The Taoist priest sat high above the Prime Minister and always lay beside him. When he saw Bian Ling, he changed his expression and said, "He is a man of etiquette."
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Whenever Huan Ziye heard a beautiful song, he would always cry out, "What can I do?" When Xie Gong heard this, he said, "Ziye is truly a man of deep affection."
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