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Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
Yin Zhongkan said: "If I don't read the Tao Te Ching for three days, I will feel that my tongue is stiff and idle."
The emperor’s meal was nine shells; the princes had seven, the officials had five, and the scholars had three. The scholars were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in that month; the officials were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in the fifth month; the princes were buried in the fifth month, and the mourning ended in the seventh month. The scholars had three Yu, the officials had five, and the princes had seven. The princes sent people to offer condolences, and the next one was: the one who brought the coffin and the offerings and arrived, all finished the work on the same day, and the next one was like this. When a king is ill, he asks countless questions; a scholar asks only once. When a king is with a noble official, he does not eat meat at the funeral, and does not play music at the funeral; when a scholar is with a funeral, he does not play music. When the main coffin is carried, the princes hold the ropes of 500 people, four ropes, all of whom hold their mouths shut. The Sima holds the bell, eight on the left and eight on the right, and the carpenters hold feathered banners to support the coffin. When a senior official is buried, when the main coffin is carried, there are 300 people holding the lead, four on the left and four on the right, and the coffin is covered with thatch.
There was a Taoist from the north who was good at reasoning. He met Mr. Lin at the Wuguang Temple and they talked about sketches. At that time, Zhu Fashen and Sun Xinggong all listened together. This Taoist raised many difficult questions, and Mr. Lin answered them clearly and analytically, with a refreshing tone. This Taoist always crushes the weak. Sun asked Mr. Shen: "Master, you must be in a difficult situation, why have you never said anything?" Mr. Shen smiled but did not answer. Mr. Lin said, "The white sandalwood is fragrant, so how can it go against the wind?" Mr. Shen understood the meaning and was disdainful.
When Liu Yin went to meet Wang Changshi Xu Qingyan, Gou Zi was thirteen years old at that time, leaning against the bed and listening. After he left, he asked his father, "How is Liu Yin's speech compared to mine?" The chief secretary said, "His elegant voice and graceful words are not as good as mine; but he always defeats the enemy, and he is worse than me."
Zu Shishao loved money when he was young, and Ruan Yaoji liked to wear shoes. They both managed their own things, but they did not judge their gains and losses. When someone visited the ancestor, he saw the items and property. When the guest arrived, the screen had not yet been fully screened. I put two small baskets and chopsticks behind my back and leaned over to block them, feeling unsatisfied. Someone who visited Ruan saw him blowing on his wax clogs, and he sighed and said, "I wonder how many pairs of clogs I should wear in my lifetime?" He looked relaxed. Then the winner was decided.
Wang Junchong was the Minister of the Chancellery. He wore his official uniform and rode in a carriage. He passed by Huang Gong's wine shop and said to the passengers in the carriage behind him, "I used to drink with Ji Shuye and Ruan Sizong at this wine shop. We also had a trip to the bamboo forest. Since Ji Shuye died young and Ruan Gong passed away, I have been bound by the times. Although this place seems close today, it seems as far away as mountains and rivers."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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