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A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
Xie Wuyi has a rough and strong character. Because they were not getting along well, he went to Wang Lantian and cursed him. Wang stood facing the wall with a serious expression and dared not move for half a day. After Xie left for a long time, he turned around and asked the clerks around him, "Have you left?" They answered, "Already left." Then he sat down again. People at that time admired his impatient nature but his ability to tolerate things.
A gentleman acts according to his position and does not want to go beyond it. If you are rich and noble, behave like a rich and noble person; if you are poor and humble, behave like a poor and humble person; if you are a barbarian, behave like a barbarian; if you are in trouble, behave like a barbarian. A gentleman is content with everything he does. If he is in a high position, he will not bully those below him; if he is in a low position, he will not rely on those above him; if he is upright and does not seek help from others, he will not have any complaints. He will not blame the heaven above him, nor will he blame others below him. Therefore, a gentleman lives in ease and waits for his fate. A villain takes risks and hopes for luck. Confucius said, "Shooting is like a gentleman. If he misses the target, he should look for the reason in himself."
The host does not personally accept it. When receiving, he stands up, and when giving, he does not sit down. There are those who are upright in nature. When entering and saying goodbye, he says: "I say goodbye". When sitting, he says: "It's OK". There is only one person who puts up his shoes and puts on his shoes in the house. If there is an elder present, it is not OK. When asking about taste, he says: "Do you eat so and so?" When asking about the art of Taoism, he says: "Are you accustomed to so and so?" "Are you good at so and so?" Do not doubt yourself, do not measure the tools of the people, do not be reluctant to the big family, and do not criticize the heavy tools. Sweeping is called sweeping, and sweeping in front of the mat is called fighting; the mat is not to be beaten with a mane. Hold the dustpan and hold the hair. Do not ask twice. When asking about divination, he says: "Is it righteousness? Is it will?" If it is righteous, you can ask, but if it is will, you can't.
Xie Wan was appointed as the governor of Yuzhou. He was newly appointed and was about to go to the capital in the west. He was seen off for many days and Xie was exhausted. So Minister Gao went there and sat down with Xie, and asked, "You are now in charge of the provincial governorship and in charge of managing the western borders. How do you govern?" Xie roughly told him his intention. Gao then wrote several hundred words to express his gratitude. Xie then stood up and sat up. After Gao left, Xie chased after him and said, "A'ling has some talent." Therefore, Xie was able to stay until the end.
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