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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
The Master said: "If the future generations will talk about it, I will not do it. The gentleman follows the way and walks, but gives up halfway, I can't stop. The gentleman follows the middle way, retreats from the world and does not regret it, only the saints can do it. "
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
When Xi Jiabin died, his attendants told Xi Gong that "his husband has passed away." Upon hearing this, Xi Gong was not sad, but said to his attendants, "We can tell you during the funeral." When Xi Gong went to the funeral, he was so sad that he almost died.
The Master said: "Everyone says I know, but they are driven into the traps and snares, and no one knows how to avoid them. Everyone says I know, but they choose the moderate, but they cannot keep it for a month."
If you shake a book or hold it upright before the king, you will be punished. If you put a tortoise upside down and sideways before the king, you will be punished. Tortoises, canes, mats, heavy white, and silk are not allowed in public. Bracelets, lapels, and hats are not allowed in public. Square books, mourning clothes, and ominous tools are not allowed in public unless they are reported.
Wang Ling went to see Xie Gong, and found Xi Zaochi was already sitting there, so he was supposed to lie on the same couch with him. The king wandered around without sitting down, so the duke invited him to sit on the couch opposite him. After he left, he said to Hu'er, "Zi Jing is indeed upright and honest, but people are too proud of you, which really damages his naturalness."
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