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Confucian scholars are entrusted with money and drowned in pleasure. They do not lose their righteousness when they see profit; they are robbed by people and discouraged by soldiers. They do not change their principles when they see death; they are like prey and insects, not brave, and they do not consider their strength when they pull heavy tripods; they do not regret the past and do not worry about the future; they do not repeat their mistakes and do not spread rumors; they do not break their power and do not practice their plans. There are such people who are unique.
Sun Zijing was talented and was admired by many people when he was young, and he only respected Wang Wuzi. When Wu Zi died, all the famous scholars came to visit him. Zi Jing came later and wept bitterly in front of the corpse, and all the guests shed tears. After crying, he said to the coffin: "You always like me to imitate the sound of a donkey. Now I will do it for you." His voice sounded like his real voice, and all the guests laughed. Sun raised his head and said, "Let your people live and let this man die!"
When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Invite the guest, "Throw it in order. If the two throws are not released, the winner will drink. After the cup is served, please set up a horse for the winner. One horse follows two horses. After three horses are set up, please celebrate with more horses." The host asked the host to do the same.
Jianwen was the prime minister and it took years of work before he was able to get the job. Duke Huan was very worried about his delay and often urged him to cancel it. Taizong said: "There are so many things to do in one day, how can we be quick?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
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