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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zhuge Liang was in Wu and attended a meeting in the court. Sun Hao asked: "Your name is Zhongsi, what do you think about?" He replied: "At home, I think about filial piety; when I serve my lord, I think about loyalty; when I am with my friends, I think about trustworthiness. That's all."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
During the death of Duke Kao of Zhulou, Lord Xu sent Rongju to offer condolences to Han, saying: "My lord sent Rongju to sit with Han and present the Marquis' jade. He sent Rongju to Han." The officials said: "The princes who come to humiliate my city are easy to easy and easy to be mixed. There has never been one who is easy to be mixed." Rongju replied: "Rongju heard that serving the lord should not forget his lord, nor should he forget his ancestors. In the past, my ancestor King Ju went west to fight and crossed the river, and he did not follow this saying. Rongju, a Lu man, dare not forget his ancestors."
All the wise men in the forest have talented sons. Ji Zihun has a broad mind. Kang Zishao is clear, elegant and upright. Tao Zijian, unobstructed and simple. Xian Zizhan, a wise man with far-reaching ambitions. I look forward to my younger brother Fu, who is cheerful and has left many things unseen. Xiuzi is pure, respectful, and kind, and she is also a clear and pure person. There are thousands of Rongzi, and they all have the potential to achieve great things, but their growth is not yet complete. Only Lingzi is unknown. Among all these scholars, only Zhan was the best, and Shao and Jian were also highly respected in the world.
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