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Xie Cheqi asked Xie Gong: "If a person is really aloof, why is he so important?" He replied: "It is because he does not see it! Seeing Zi Jing still makes people unable to stop."
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
When you are about to move away, don't make things too tight. When you are about to go to class, your voice must be loud. There are two shoes outside. If you hear the words, you can enter. If you don鈥檛 hear the words, you can鈥檛 enter. When entering a house, one must look down. When entering a house, lock the door firmly and do not look back; when the door is opened, open it; when the door is closed, close it; if someone comes in later, lock the door and do not let them in. Do not step on shoes, do not step on mats, and do not move towards corners by picking up clothes. Be cautious and keep your promises.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
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