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In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
When Huan Xuan was about to usurp the throne, he said to Bian Ju: "In the past, Yang Zidao always forbade me from doing this. Now that I have lost my confidant Yang Fu and my henchmen Suo Yuan, I have hastily made such slanders. How can this be in line with the will of Heaven?"
Tanqi originated in the Wei Palace, where people used dressing boxes as a game. Emperor Wen was very good at this play. He used the corner of his hand towel to flick it and every time he did it he hit the target. There was a guest who claimed that he was capable, so the emperor asked him to do it. The guest picked up the chopsticks and held the corner of a hemp scarf, and lowered his head to play the chess pieces, his skill was even greater than that of the emperor.
Jing Fang discussed with Emperor Yuan of Han, and asked the emperor: "Why did the rulers of You and Li fall? Who did they appoint?" The emperor replied: "They appointed disloyal people." Fang said: "Why did they appoint people knowing they were disloyal?" The emperor replied: "The rulers of the fallen countries all appointed their ministers with virtue. How could they appoint people knowing they were disloyal?" Fang bowed his head and said: "I am afraid that the way we look at the past today is the same as the way people in the future look at the present."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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