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Jin Xianwenzi got married, and the Jin officials went to the wedding. Zhang Lao said, "What a beautiful wedding! What a magnificent wedding! Sing here, cry here, and gather the nation here." Wenzi said, "Wu can sing here, cry here, and gather the nation here. This is the key to following the previous officials in the nine capitals." He bowed twice to the north. Gentlemen call him good at chanting and praying.
Si Tu Wang Rong was both noble and wealthy. He had houses and shepherds in the area, fertile fields and water mills, which were unparalleled in Luoyang. Qi Shuyang Zhang, often discuss strategies with his wife under candlelight.
Xun Ciming met Yuan Lang of Runan and asked about the people of Yingchuan. Ciming mentioned his brothers first. Lang laughed and said, "Can a scholar be selected only because of his kinship?" Ciming said, "You are questioning me, what scripture are you basing your opinion on?" Lang said, "I was just asking about the country's scholars, but you mentioned my brothers, so I blame them." Ciming said, "In the past, Qi Xi recommended people from within the country without missing their sons, and recommended people from outside the country without missing their enemies, which was considered to be very fair. The poem of King Wen of Gongdan did not discuss the virtues of Yao and Shun, but praised Wen and Wu, which is the meaning of loving one's relatives. The meaning of the Spring and Autumn Annals is to include one's country within and exclude other countries. Moreover, if one does not love one's relatives but loves others, is it not against virtue?"
Du Hongzhi's tomb collapsed, and his expression was so sad that it was beyond description. Yu Gong turned to his guests and said, "Hongzhi is very weak, so we should not mourn for him." He also said, "Hongzhi's crying should not be mourned."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
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