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The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. 鈥

The etiquette of running to the funeral: When you first hear about the death of a relative, you should cry and express your sorrow; when you ask the reason, you should cry and express your sorrow again. Then you should go, and travel a hundred miles a day, not at night. Only when your parents die, you should go when you see the stars, and stop when you see the stars. If you can鈥檛 go, you should wear mourning clothes before going. When you pass through the country, you should stop crying when you have cried. Cry and open the market. When you look at the country, you should cry. When you get home, you should go in the left, ascend from the west steps, lie down in the east, sit facing west, cry and express your sorrow, tie your hair and expose your body, and go down to the east of the hall. The host takes his seat, faces west and cries, dances, and wears a mourning robe in the east of the order, twisting his belt. Return to his seat, bow to the guest, dance, see the guest off, and return to his seat; if there is a guest who arrives later, he bows to him, dances and sees off the guest as before. All the host's brothers go out, and stop crying when they go out; close the door, and the attendant tells them to take their turn. Cry again, pull up the hair and bare the body, dance; cry for the third time, pull up the hair and bare the body again, dance. After three days, complete mourning, bow to the guest and see off the guest as before.




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鏇存柊鏃堕棿锛2025-03-17

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