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When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
When Bo Yu's mother died, he cried even after a certain period of time. The Master heard about it and said: "Who is crying with you?" The disciple said: "It's the carp." The Master said: "Hey! It's too much." Bo Yu heard about it and then got rid of it.
In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
Ruan Zhongrong first had sex with a Xianbei maid from his aunt's family. When I was in mourning for my mother, my aunt had to move far away. At first, she said that she would keep the maid, but after she left, she was determined to leave. Zhongrong borrowed a donkey, chopsticks and heavy clothes from a guest and chased after him, but he returned with several horses. She said: "The human race must not be lost!" She was the mother of Yao Ji.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Wang Pingzi, Hu Wuyanguo and others all regarded letting go as a sign of being generous, and some even went naked. Yue Guang laughed and said, "There is a place of happiness in the orthodox teachings. Why do you have to do this?"
Someone asked the military governor, "How good is Yin Hao in his talks?" He replied, "I can't beat others, but I can at least win the hearts of the people."
During the reign of Emperor Wu of Jin, Xun Xu was the Director of the Secretariat and He Qiao was the Prime Minister. The story tells about the origin of the supervisor and the commander riding in the same car. Jiao was of a noble and upright character, and he always disdained flattery. Later, when the bus came, Qiao got on it and sat forward without waiting. Xu Fanggeng looked for a car and then he was able to leave. From then on, the supervisors and magistrates were each given a carriage.
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