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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The king creates music when his achievements are accomplished, and establishes rituals when his governance is established. Those who have great achievements have complete music, and those who have a good governance have complete rituals. The dance of Ganqi is not complete music, and those who are prosperous and worship are not complete rituals. The Five Emperors lived in different times, and did not follow each other's music; the Three Kings lived in different times, and did not follow each other's rituals. When music is excessive, it leads to worry, and when rituals are rough, they become biased. And when
Wang Youjun was good at calligraphy, as were Wang Jingren and Xu Xuandu. After the two men died, Youjun became even more successful in debates. Kong Yan warned him, saying, "Your Excellency, in the past you had close relations with Wang and Xu. But after they passed away, you did not take good care of them. This is unacceptable to the people." Youjun felt very ashamed.
Therefore, the rite of audience is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and the ministers. The rite of marriage is to make the princes respect each other. The rite of funeral and sacrifice is to clarify the grace of the ministers. The rite of drinking in the village is to clarify the order of the elders and the young. The rite of marriage is to clarify the difference between men and women. Rites are the source of restraint and chaos, just like the source of water in the village. Therefore, those who destroy the old temple because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water; those who destroy the old ritual because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water.
At the beginning of death, he was full as if he had no end; after the funeral, he was as if he was looking for something but couldn't get it; after the burial, he was as if he was looking for something but couldn't get it. He was trained and sighed, auspicious and vast. Zhulou shot arrows at him again, probably since the battle at Shengxing. The women of Lu who wore their hair in a bun and mourned started from the defeat at the Taiyu.
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