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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Confucius said: "In bad years, ride a slow horse. Sacrifice with the lower sacrifice."
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
The princes attacked Qin, and Duke Huan of Cao died at the meeting. The princes asked Han to attack. Duke Xiang of Xiang paid court to Jing, and King Kang died. The people of Jing said, "We must ask for an attack." The people of Lu said, "It is not proper." The people of Jing forced them to do so. The witch brushed the coffin first. The people of Jing regretted it. When Duke Cheng of Teng died, he sent Zishu and Jingshu to offer condolences and present the letter. Zifu and Huibo were the intermediaries. When he went to the suburbs, he was afraid of Yibo and did not go in. Huibo said, "It is a matter of politics. You cannot ignore public affairs for the sake of your uncle's private affairs." So he went in. Duke Ai sent people to offer condolences to Li Shang and met him on the road. He made way for him on the road and drew a palace to receive condolences. Zengzi said: "Li Shang is not as knowledgeable as Qi Liang's wife. When Duke Zhuang of Qi attacked Ju in Duo, Qi Liang died there. His wife met his coffin on the road and cried for him. Duke Zhuang sent people to offer condolences. She replied: "If your ministers are not free from guilt, they will be executed in the market and court, and their wives and concubines will be arrested; if your ministers are free from guilt, they will have the shabby house of their ancestors. Your Majesty will not disgrace your fate."
Meng Xianzi was mourning, but he hung his head but didn't enjoy himself, and he played the harp but didn't enter. The Master said, "Xianzi is one level higher than others!"
Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."
The king's right army is in the south, the prime minister and the book, every sighing son and nephew do not order the cloud: "Tiger (dog tun), tiger calf, return it as it is."
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