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An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
Do not talk about music in mourning, do not talk about bad things during sacrifices, and do not talk about women in public courts.
Zengzi went to Fuxia to pay tribute to his ancestors. After the host filled the pond, he pushed the coffin back and brought it back. He brought down the women and then performed the rituals. The attendant asked, "Is it the etiquette?" Zengzi said, "The ancestor is Qie; Qie, why can't he stay overnight?" The attendant asked Ziyou again, "Is it the etiquette?" Ziyou said, "Eat under the window, bury the dead in a small way inside the door, bury the dead in a big way on the east side, and hold the funeral in the guest seat. The funeral is held in the courtyard and buried in the tomb. This is how it is far away. Therefore, funerals have progress but no retreat." Zengzi heard this and said, "It's too much. I'm the one who left the ancestor." Zengzi wore a fur coat to pay his respects, and Ziyou wore a fur coat to pay his respects. Zengzi pointed at Ziyou and showed him, "Fuck, you are a man who is accustomed to etiquette, how can you wear a fur coat to pay your respects?" The host had folded his hair in a small way, bared his clothes, and tied his hair; Ziyou hurried out and came back wearing a fur coat and a sash. Zengzi said, "I went too far, I went too far, this is it."
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
Zhi Daoling asked Sun Xinggong: "How do you compare to Xu Yuan?" Sun said: "Your sentiments are high and far-reaching, and I have already accepted them early. If you recite a poem, Xu will face north."
The meaning of drinking in the village: the host greets the guests outside the school gate, and when they enter, they bow three times before going up the steps, and then give way three times before going up, so as to show respect and courtesy. Wash and raise the cup, so as to show cleanliness. Bowing to arrive, bowing to wash, bowing to receive, bowing to send off, and bowing to end is to show respect. Respect, courtesy, cleanliness and respect are the reasons why gentlemen interact with each other. Gentlemen respect and yield will not argue, and cleanliness and respect will not be rude. If they are not rude and do not argue, they will be far away from fighting and arguing; if they do not fight and argue, there will be no disasters of violence and rebellion. This is why gentlemen are free from human disasters, so the sages regulate it with the Tao.
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