黄色笑话激情五月天

Don't chase a scumbag

Emperor Ming of Jin was an expert at fortune-telling about tombs and houses. When he heard that Guo Pu was burying someone, the emperor went to see it in disguise. He asked the master: "Why do you bury the dragon's horns? This method will lead to the extermination of the whole clan!" The master said: "Guo Yun said: 'This is to bury the dragon. Within three years, the emperor will be born.'" The emperor asked: "Does it mean the emperor will be born?" The answer was: "It is not the emperor who will be born, but it can lead to the emperor's question."

Life Reader

Wei Chang Qi Ya has body, and talent learning is not the way out, Yu Cun ridiculed him said: "With the minister three chapters of the law: the talker died, the writer was punished, the business slightly offset the crime."

Luxury Love

Youzi asked Zengzi: "Have you asked about funerals, Master?" He said: "I have heard that funerals want to get poor quickly, and death wants to decay quickly." Youzi said: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen heard it from the Master." Youzi said again: "This is not what a gentleman says." Zengzi said: "Shen and Ziyou heard it." Youzi said: "Yes, then the Master said it for a reason." Zengzi told Ziyou this. Ziyou said, "How wonderful! Youzi's words are similar to yours. Once upon a time, when the Master was living in Song, he saw Sima Huan making a stone coffin for himself, which took three years to complete. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to decay quickly than to die.' The desire to decay quickly was what Sima Huan said. When Nangong Jingshu returned, he would bring treasures with him to the court. The Master said, 'If it is so, then it is better to become poor quickly than to be buried.' The desire to become poor quickly was what Jingshu said." Zengzi told him what Ziyou said. When Youzi was talking to Youzi, Youzi said, "Yes, I have always said that this is not what the Master said." Zengzi said, "How do you know this?" Youzi said, "The Master made a four-inch coffin and a five-inch outer coffin in Zhongdu, so he knew that he did not want to decay quickly. In the past, when the Master lost the position of Sikou of Lu and was about to go to Jing, he first asked Zixia and then Ran You, so he knew that he did not want to become poor quickly."

My fairy clone

Kang Sengyuan had deep eyes and a high nose, and Prime Minister Wang always adjusted him. Monk Yuan said: "The nose is the mountain of the face, and the eyes are the abyss of the face. If the mountain is not high, it will not be spiritual; if the abyss is not deep, it will not be clear."

Tremble, you scumbag.

He is a good-looking man

Zengzi and his guests stood by the door, and his followers hurried out. Zengzi asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "My father died, and I will go out to cry in the alley." He said, "I will go back and cry next to you." Zengzi faced north and mourned.