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When parents are ill, those who wear hats do not comb their hair, walk do not gallop, talk do not lazily, do not play the zither and the qin, eat meat without changing its taste, drink wine without changing its appearance, laugh do not laugh too loudly, and be angry without swearing. The disease stops and returns to normal.
As a son, you should not live in the main hall, sit in the middle of the seat, walk in the middle of the road, or stand in the middle of the door. Food is not for the sake of abundance, and sacrifice is not for the sake of corpses. Listen to the silent and see the invisible. Do not climb high, do not stand near deep places. Don't criticize carelessly, don't smile carelessly.
When Wang Wendu was the chief secretary of Duke Huan, Duke Huan asked for a daughter from the king for his son, and the king agreed to ask for a daughter from Lantian. After returning, Lantian missed Wendu very much and still held him on his lap even though he had grown up. Wendu then told Huan that he wanted his daughter's knee. Lantian was furious and pushed Wendu to his knees and said, "What a shame! Wendu is foolish again. Are you afraid of Huan Wen? How can you marry your daughter to him?" Wendu replied, "My family has found a marriage place first." Duke Huan said, "I know it. It's just that your Excellency doesn't want to." Later, Huan's daughter married Wendu's son.
When Pei Lang wrote "Yu Lin" (Words in the Forest), it was widely known far and wide when it first came out. At that time, young people all copied it and each had one. It is recorded that Wang Dongting wrote a poem "Presented to the King's Drunken Master" which was very talented and sentimental.
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
Xi Zaochi had extraordinary talent in history, but Xuanwu valued him very much and appointed him as the governor of Jingzhou when he was less than 30 years old. Zaochi also wrote in his letter of thanks, saying, "If I hadn't met you, I would have been an old official in Jingzhou!" Later, he went to the capital to see Jianwen and returned to the capital. Xuanwu asked him, "How was it like to meet the Prince of Xiang?" He replied, "I have never seen such a man in my life!" From then on, he disobeyed the emperor's order and was banished to Hengyang County, where his nature and reason became distorted. While he was ill, he still wrote the Spring and Autumn Annals of Han and Jin, and his comments were outstanding.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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