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Serving parents is secretive but not offending, and the left and right are not good at taking care of them. They serve diligently until death and mourn for three years. If one makes a mistake in serving the lord but does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years. If one makes no mistake in serving the teacher and does not hide it, and takes good care of the lord in a proper way, and serves diligently until death, he shall mourn for three years in his heart.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
After Sun Xiu surrendered to the Jin Dynasty, Emperor Wu of Jin treated him with great favor and allowed him to marry his aunt's younger sister, Kuai, and their family was very stable. His wife was jealous and called Xiu a "raccoon". Xiu was very upset and refused to go in again. Kuai deeply regretted his mistake and asked the emperor for help. There was a general amnesty at that time, and all the officials were present. After he left, the emperor kept Xiu alone and said to him calmly, "The world is vast and open, can Madam Kuai follow its example?" Xiu took off his hat and declined, and then they became husband and wife as before.
A gentleman knows the difficulty and ease of learning, and knows its beauty and ugliness, and then he can make extensive metaphors; if he can make extensive metaphors, he can be a teacher; if he can be a teacher, he can be a leader; if he can be a leader, he can be a king. Therefore, a teacher is for learning to be a king. Therefore, choosing a teacher must be careful. "Records" said: "Three kings and four generations only have their teachers." Is this what it means!
People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
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