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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
Fan Rongqi saw that Xi's super-vulgar feelings were not light, so he said, "Yi, Qi, Nest, Xu, Yiyi is famous. Why bother with the hard work of God and bitterness, and support Wuxie?"
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
Wang Pushe was expelled by Yin and Huan in Jiangzhou, and fled to Yuzhang, where his life and death were uncertain. When Wang Sui was in the capital, he looked worried and distressed, and his living and eating habits, as well as everything else, were all deplorable. People at that time called him a filial son.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The Master said: “A mean man drowns in water, a gentleman drowns in his mouth, and a great man drowns in the people, all because of what they despise. Water is close to people and drowns them; virtue is easy to get close to but difficult to get close to, so it is easy to drown people; talking is tedious and annoying, easy to speak but difficult to regret, so it is easy to drown people; people are closed to people and have contemptuous hearts, they should be respected but not ignored, so they are easy to drown people. Therefore, a gentleman should not be careless. Taijia said: ‘Do not go beyond your destiny and overturn yourself; if you are afraid of the trap, go and review your measures and you will be released. ’Dui Ming said: ‘Only the mouth causes shame, only armor causes war, only clothes are in the box, and only weapons are used to review one’s body. ’Taijia said: ‘The evil of heaven can be disobeyed; the evil of oneself cannot be avoided. '"Yin Ji" says: "Yin is the one who respects the heaven, and is seen in Xiyi; Xia has an end since Zhou, and Xiang has also ended. '"
Huan Shiqian was the eldest son of Sikong Huo. The nickname is Zhen E. When he was seventeen or eighteen years old, he had not been promoted yet, but the young servants already called him "Zhen'e Lang". He once lived in Xuanwuzhaitou. During the expedition to Fangtou, the chariots and cavalry overwhelmed the enemy, and no one on the left or right was able to rescue them. Xuanwu said to him, "Did you know that your uncle fell into the hands of the bandits?" Shi Qian was very excited when he heard this. He ordered Zhu Pi to be his deputy, and he rode his horse among tens of thousands of people. No one could resist him, and he rushed back directly, which impressed the three armies. Later, Heshuo used this name to cure malaria.
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