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Fan Qi and Yan wrote a guest letter: "Zi Jing raises his body without any mercy, and his skin has no residual moisture." Yan replied: "There is no residual moisture in lifting the body, how can the body be not real?"
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
He Yan, Deng Yang and Xiahou Xuan all asked Fu Gu to make friends with them, but Gu finally refused. Everyone then united them based on Xun Can's advice and said to Gu, "Xiahou Taichu was an outstanding man of his time and was humble towards you, but you have the opposite intention. If you get along with him, things will go well, but if you don't, there will be rifts. If the two virtuous people are like Mu, the country will be at peace. This is why Lin Xiangru put Lian Po below him." Fu said, "Xiahou Taichu has great ambitions and is hardworking. He is able to win false praise. He is truly a man who can ruin a country with his eloquence. He Yan and Deng Yang are ambitious but impetuous, knowledgeable but not particular, greedy on the outside but indifferent on the inside, they value similarities and hate differences, they talk a lot and are jealous. They talk a lot and are provocative, and they are jealous and have no friends. In my opinion, these three virtuous people are all corrupt people! Even if you keep them at a distance, you may suffer disaster, let alone those who are approachable?" Later, all of them turned out as he said.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
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