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Dai Andao’s portrait paintings in his middle age were very exquisite. Yu Daoji read it and said to Dai Yun: "The gods are too vulgar, because you have not yet fully understood worldly affairs." Dai Yun: "Only Wu Guang should stop you from saying this."
Also, the condolence ceremony of the princes is treated as if they were treated as princes. When the lady arrives, she enters from the gate and ascends from the side steps, while the prince is in the east. The rest is the same as the funeral ceremony. The sister-in-law does not caress the uncle, and the uncle does not caress the sister-in-law.
Someone asked Gu Changkang: "How does your Zheng Fu compare to Ji Kang's Qin Fu?" Gu said: "Those who don't appreciate it will pass it down after it is written. Those who have deep knowledge will also value it for its elegance and uniqueness."
When Cai Hong went to Luoyang, the people of Luoyang asked him, "When the government was first established, the officials appointed officials to seek the talented and extraordinary in the humble and to recruit the wise and talented from the caves. You are a man of Wu and Chu, the survivors of the fallen countries. What special talents do you have to be selected?" Cai replied, "The pearls that shine in the night don't have to come from the Mengjin River; the jade that fits in the hand doesn't have to be mined from the Kunlun Mountain. Dayu was born in the Dongyi, and King Wen was born in the Xiqiang. Why should the saints and wise men stay in the same place? When King Wu defeated King Zhou and moved the stubborn people to Luoyi, could you be their descendants?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
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