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Confucius said: "Guan Zhong carved a gui with red ribbons, a birch tree and a reverse altar, and a mountain knot and a colorful ash. He is a virtuous official, but it is difficult to be a superior. Yan Pingzhong worshipped his ancestors. A pig's shoulder does not cover the bowl. He is a virtuous official, but it is difficult to be a subordinate. A gentleman does not usurp the superior, and does not oppress the inferior. 鈥

Wang Anfeng鈥檚 wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.

As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.




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