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Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
Only when the emperor mourns, people of different surnames cry. Duke Ai of Lu mourned Confucius, saying: "Heaven does not spare the old, and no one will give me a position. Alas, my father!" When a large county was destroyed, the dukes, ministers, officials, and scholars all wore their caps and cried in the great temple for three days, but the king did not raise the flag. Some said: The king raised the flag and cried in front of Hou Tu. Confucius hated people crying in the wild. Those who have not yet taken office dare not tax people; if they tax people, they should follow the orders of their fathers and brothers. Scholars should prepare themselves and dance morning and evening. They should wear mourning clothes for auspicious occasions, and they should mourn in the same month and move to the next month for music. The king has a gift of cloth to scholars.
There was a morning auspicious event in Lu, but no one sang. Zilu laughed at him. The Master said, "You, you blame others, and never stop? The three-year mourning period is already long." Zilu left, and the Master said, "How long? If it lasts more than a month, it will be good."
When the Grand Tutor, Prince Donghai, was stationed in Xuchang, he appointed Wang Anqi as the secretary and military officer, and they had a good relationship and respected each other. He ordered the Crown Prince Pi, saying, "The benefits of learning are shallow, while the comfort of the body is profound. It is better to observe the etiquette and manners carefully than to practice them casually. It is better to receive the emperor's will in person than to savor his words. General Wang is the model of human relations, you should learn from him!" Someone said, "General Wang, Zhao and Deng are the models of human relations, you should learn from them!" He was referring to Anqi, Deng Bodao and Zhao Mu. Yuan Hong wrote the Biography of Famous Scholars and mentioned Wang Canjun. Some say that the Zhao family still has this copy.
Ruan Zhongrong first had sex with a Xianbei maid from his aunt's family. When I was in mourning for my mother, my aunt had to move far away. At first, she said that she would keep the maid, but after she left, she was determined to leave. Zhongrong borrowed a donkey, chopsticks and heavy clothes from a guest and chased after him, but he returned with several horses. She said: "The human race must not be lost!" She was the mother of Yao Ji.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
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