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The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
When Shan Xia left Dongyang, Wang Changshi wrote to him to ask for Dongyang's help, saying: "You have inherited the harsh policies, so you can achieve peace and order."
Duke Xiang of Song buried his wife with a hundred jars of salted meat. Zeng Zi said, "Since it is said that the utensils are clear, it is also filled." At the funeral of Meng Xianzi, Si Tu Lu returned to Si Bu. The Master said, "Yes." Reading the 赐, Zengzi said, "It is not ancient, it is a second report." Cheng Zigao was ill in bed, and Qing Yi came in and asked, "Your illness has worsened. If it becomes a serious illness, what should I do?" Zigao said, "I have heard that life is beneficial to people, and death is not harmful to people. Even if I am not beneficial to people in life, can I harm people in death? When I die, choose a place where no food is eaten and bury me there."
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Due to the stone accident, the imperial court collapsed. Wen Zhongwu and Yu Wenkang went to Tao Gong to ask for help. Tao Gong said: "Emperor Su Zu's instructions were not heard, and Su Jun was in rebellion. The cause was caused by Yu. Killing his brothers will not be enough to apologize to the world." At that time, Yu was behind Wen's boat and heard about it. He was worried and didn't know what to do. On the day of separation, Wen advised Yu to meet Tao, but Yu hesitated and did not go. Wen said, "I know all about the river dogs. You just need to meet them, and you will have nothing to worry about!" Tao changed his opinion of Yu at the first sight of his demeanor and appearance. After talking and feasting all day, their love for each other grew stronger.
Yu Zhigong wrote to Huan Wen, saying, "Liu Daosheng is always busy with things, big or small, and is very happy. He is a man of integrity and good humor, and is a good friend. He is truly a good person, and I recommend him to you, so that we can share the hardship together."
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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