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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
When Shusun Wushu's mother died, after the small coffin was buried, the person who carried it out of the house, stripped bare, and threw down his hat and tied his hair. Ziyou said, "You know the ritual." When the lord is supported, the fortune teller supports the right, and the archer supports the left; when the lord dies, it is carried out in this way.
When Lu Shiheng first entered Luoyang, he asked Zhang Gong where he should visit; Liu Daozhen was one of them. After Lu left, Liu was still in mourning. He was fond of drinking, and after the ceremony, he said nothing else at first, only asked: "There is a long-handled Hu Lu in Dongwu, can you get some?" The Lu brothers were very disappointed and regretted going.
Shi Chong made bean porridge for his guests, and it was ready in a snap. In constant winter, you can get leeks, duckweed and amaranth. Moreover, the ox was not as big and strong as Wang Kai's ox, but he went out with Kai and set out very late, trying to get into Luo City. He followed the ox for dozens of steps and was as fast as a bird. Kai's ox could not catch up with him at all. These three things always make me feel regretful. He then secretly bribed the governor and the charioteer under Chong's tent and asked them the reason. The governor said, "Beans are difficult to cook, so just grind them into powder in advance. When guests come, make white porridge for them. Chives and duckweed are made by mashing leek roots and mixing them with wheat seedlings." He then asked the driver how the ox was moving. The driver said, "The ox is not slow at all. It's just that the driver cannot control it in time. If you let the shaft lean to the side in a hurry, the ox will move forward." Kai followed his advice and competed for the lead. When Shi Chong heard about it later, he killed all the informants.
Xie Wan was in front of his brother and wanted to get up to ask for the toilet. At that time, Ruan Sikuang was sitting there and said, "I am new to the family, so I am so respectful and rude."
Guan Ning and Hua Xin were weeding in the garden together when they saw a piece of gold on the ground. Guan swung his hoe and it looked like a piece of tile or stone, but Hua picked it up and threw it away. They once sat together reading, and someone passed by in a carriage and official robes. Ning continued reading as usual, but Xin put down his book and went out to look. Ning cut the mat and sat on the other side, saying, "You are not my friend."
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