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King Wen of Jin praised Ruan Sizong as extremely cautious. Whenever he spoke to him, his words were profound and far-reaching, and he never praised or criticized anyone.
When Gu Rong was in Luoyang, he once accepted someone's invitation. He noticed that the person who was roasting meat wanted to be roasted too, so he stopped what he was doing. Those sitting together laughed at him. Rong said, "How can one hold it all day long and not know its taste?" Later, when he encountered chaos and had to cross the river, every time he was in danger, there was always one person by his side. When he asked him why, he found out that he was the one who was being burned.
After Ren Kai lost his power, he no longer disciplined himself. Someone asked He Qiao, "Why did you sit by and watch Yuan Pei fail without helping?" He said, "Yuan Pei is like Beixia Gate, which is about to fall apart. It cannot be supported by a single piece of wood."
The death of the emperor is called Beng, the death of the princes is called Hong, the death of the officials is called Zu, the death of the scholars is called Bulu, and the death of the common people is called Si. The body on the bed is called Shi, and the body in the coffin is called Ju. Feathered birds are called Jiang, and four-legged birds are called Zi. Dead bandits are called Bing.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
At first, Xie An lived in Dongshan, wearing commoner clothes. At that time, his brothers had already become rich and powerful, and they gathered at home, becoming a popular figure. Madam Liu jokingly said to An, "Shouldn't a real man be like this?" Xie scratched his nose and said, "I'm afraid I can't avoid it!"
In the teaching of the university, there must be regular work during the teaching, and there must be study after resting. If you don't learn to play the string, you can't play the string properly; if you don't learn to read the Book of Songs, you can't play the Book of Songs properly; if you don't learn to wear various clothes, you can't play the rites properly; if you don't learn to play the art, you can't enjoy learning. Therefore, the gentleman hides, cultivates, rests, and wanders in learning. Therefore, he is at ease with his learning and loves his teacher, enjoys his friends and believes in his way. Therefore, even if he leaves his teacher, he will not turn back. The Book of Changes says: "Respect your grandchildren and be diligent in time, and then your cultivation will come." Is this what it means!
The lowly should not mourn the noble, the young should not mourn the old, this is the etiquette. Only the emperor should be mourned by calling the heaven. The princes mourning each other is not etiquette.
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