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During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
Chen Ganxi was ill and entrusted his brothers to his brothers, and ordered his son Zunyi to say, "If I die, you must make a big coffin for me, and let my two maids hold me." When Chen Ganxi died, his son said, "It is not proper to bury him alive with the dead, let alone share the same coffin." He was not killed.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
Bian Wangzhi said: "There are three opposites in Xi Gong's character: he is good at doing things, but he likes to flatter others. This is the first opposite. He is honest and upright, and he makes great plans. This is the second opposite. He likes to read books and hates other people's knowledge. This is the third opposite."
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
In ancient times, when the princes shot, they had to perform the banquet ceremony first; when the ministers, officials, and scholars shot, they had to perform the village drinking ceremony first. Therefore, the banquet ceremony is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and his subjects; the village drinking ceremony is to clarify the order of seniority.
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