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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
When Liu Qingsun was in the Taifu Mansion, he was framed by many people of the time. Only Yu Zisong was so absorbed in worldly affairs that he had no time to rest. Later, because he was frugal by nature and had a wealthy family, he persuaded the Grand Tutor to exchange it for tens of millions, hoping that the emperor would be stingy and he could take advantage of it. The Grand Tutor asked Yu in front of everyone. Yu was drunk at the time, with his cap falling on the table. He put his head to pick it up and replied slowly, "I have two or three thousand shawls at home. You can take whatever you want." Then he obeyed. Later, someone told Yu about this, and Yu said, "It can be said that one is using the concerns of a villain to judge the heart of a gentleman."
Xu Yun was executed by King Jing of Jin, and his disciple went in to tell his wife. The woman was working on the loom, her expression unchanged, and she said, "I knew it early!" The servants wanted to hide the child, but the woman said, "Don't get involved in the child's affairs." Later, the child was moved to a tomb, and King Jing sent Zhong Hui to look after him. If the child had talent like his father, he would be taken in. The child asked his mother for advice. The mother said: "Although you are good, you don't have much talent. Just speak from your heart and you will have nothing to worry about. You don't have to be too sad. Just stop when you can. You can also ask less about court affairs." The children followed her advice. He then reported the case and was finally released.
As a son, you must tell your parents when you go out and see them when you come back. Where you go must be regular and what you learn must be disciplined. Never say old. If one is twice as old as his father, he should be served by his father; if one is ten years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his elder brother; if one is five years older than his elder brother, he should be served by his shoulder. When five people live in a group, the elder one must sit at a separate seat.
Confucius stood with his disciples, bowed and tilted his head to the right, and the two disciples also tilted their heads to the right. Confucius said, "You two are fond of learning, but I am sad because my sister is dead." The two disciples all tilted their heads to the left.
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
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